Petition to rename Ekin-Su Island this season
Thanks to the TV gods, folks – Love Island 2022 has gotten VERY good. It’s the kind of good that makes me desperately horny to crash on my devilish rented IKEA sofa and beat up with my roommate and watch gorgeous girls squabble in front of a Mallorcan fireplace. TV Gold! At this point, our initial assumptions about these chaotic future influencers have changed as turbulently as the weather in the UK this week. It’s week three – who’s hot and who’s NOT? Here is a ranking of all the islanders currently in the Love Island 2022 villa ranked by how much they run, own and kill that villa.
Are you telling me you’ve been hanging out with Indiyah for two weeks for no reason? Just a shrug, a smile and a what’s when she denounces romance? Don’t waste my time, mate!
The definition of go girl gives us nothing! The fact that she was so shocked that boring Andrew was among the bottom three boys when it came to the public vote really said it all. Nice enough girl, but you’re on national television – come on, honey!
Same as above, but a slight bonus for the iconic way he said “That’s…always a lie” to Ekin-Su during the terrace door.
Public enemy number one in the villa, for some reason. Afraid it can’t be ranked higher on this rule, Love Island villa ranks 2022, because it has 0 power at all right now. She is vulnerable! “Bye, rapper” was iconic.
A lot of recent villa drama has revolved around new boy Jay – but he’s not exactly the most powerful. He is a pawn for everyone’s desires. Ekin-Su plays it like a chess piece.
Sigh. I hate how attracted I am to this stupidly gorgeous northern bastard. He has our Paige’s heart in the palm of his hands. If he drops that heart for a Casa Amor adventure, I won’t be silenced in my rage.
A bit of a budding chaos queen – imagines herself as a 2022 Megan Barton-Hanson or Maura Higgins. Danica has none of their effortless finesse, but she has a huge pair of balls on her to recouple with Luca and split the tightest duo in the villa for personal gain. I don’t know if this tactic will work well in the long run, but it’s a powerful villa move to play.
Evil devilish energy (blame Churchill’s tattoo), but a great villa character. Lots of quick one-liners and someone the camera is always on. Has a lot of power but Gemma has more. And she knows it!
Literally the darling of the nation. I don’t know what power she has in the villa beyond being highly regarded, but outside this Welsh angel could command an army.
Slowly but surely, Indiyah is delivering on the iconic promise of her promotional photo. She’s the facial expression icon of the season, and I’m so excited that she and Dami are slowly but surely blossoming. His time has come!
We thought it was wooden, but we were wrong. Davide is indeed a big TV Italian snack. It is the best breadstick in the country. I love everything he does. Every word he says. BIND. ACTREZZ. GET’A THE FUCKOUT.
The dead queen of the villa makes me scream with her brutality every fucking episode. She can say a million things with monotonous feedback. The way she took part in the Amber/Ekin-Su drama and obliterated the latter with three perfectly executed lines was textbook. She serves.
When Salt N Pepa sang Whatta Man, they were singing it about Dami. Funny? Check. Wonderful? Check. Ball ? Check. I love everything about him. He’s so endearing, and I’m so happy he does what he wants and I can see the sparkle of an Indiyah romance crackling under this Mallorcan sun. For likeability alone, it deserves to top this 2022 Love Island Villa Power Ranking – but a TV icon still reigns supreme.
1. Ekin Su
When the camera is off Ekin-Su, it feels like a lost moment. She’s reality TV royalty of epic proportions. She knows how to do drama, she knows how to get what she wants, and she knows how to do it perfectly. The villa may hate her, but they have to admit that half the time she’s right. No one wants to meet her. Run the villa, own my heart, topped this Love Island ranking for week three.
Love Island 2022 continues on ITV2 at 9pm tonight. For all the latest Love Island news and gossip and for the best memes and quizzes, like The Holy Church of Love Island on Facebook.
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